Its 4:45 am and i cant sleep.� i lay here in bed lifeless almost.. Its weird.� ive been thinking a lot about what i am going to do with my life, and i think for the rest of this year im going to get a second job because working helps me pass the time, because when im at school or not keeping busy i have a lot of spare time to reflect on things.� soo if i keep working i can keep my head on straight i think... And save up money too.� idk where i want to go.. I want to go somewhere, like live elsewhere but idk where i can be happy at. Ive learned that your troubles are always going to follow you tho.. So no matter where i go, depression tags along.� but i am soo glad i have an apointment on tuesday because it is much needed. I have been looking forward to it ever since my last one.� he is defiantely going to suggest that i take meds tho. Which i am going to take because i have having these outrageous thoughts.,. I mean i dont intentionally make them.. Or necessarily want them, they just occur and idk how to make them go away.� so hopefully this will help.� anyways i am glad that i have a roommate.� because this weekend ive been alone and i have been sooooo scared.� today i was washing my face and i thought i heard something, so i hurried and wiped my eyes to see what it was.. And it was no one.. But i was still frightened.� i get real panicy and anxious a lot.� woo.� anyways i am training at customer service and it feels really good to move up at best buy, now i will finally be a rep 2, and get paid more� i love that company.� its a great place to work, and im happy to work there.� annnd i believe thats all.
nite�
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